


Escaping Gravity

by onceuponkpop



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, BaekSoo being BaekSoo, EXO - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Apocalypse, Some fluff too, Space AU, XiuSoo - Freeform, Xiusoo are best friends, i'm honestly trash, like a lot, not really tho, so no major triggers, space, xiuhan being sad, xiuhan will live forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 21:18:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12690414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponkpop/pseuds/onceuponkpop
Summary: Kim Minseok never felt small.Or did he?





	1. Haven

Kim Minseok had never felt small in his life. A quite impressive task if he said so himself. His best friend, Kyungsoo, did. All the time. They’d walk through the blindingly white halls of the training facility and hear other trainees snicker at them. Kyungsoo would grumble something and curl his narrow shoulders even more, which in Minseok's opinion didn't help at all, as it just resulted in Kyungsoo's figure appearing even tinier. Minseok wasn't that much taller than his best friend. A few inches at best. The difference? Minseok's shoulders never curled under the pressure of the stares of his fellow trainees.

His back was always straight, his chin always up.

 

Kim Minseok never felt small.

 

Sometimes Kyungsoo would look at him: big, owl eyes behind thick framed glasses, delicate hands in his lap and a split lip (he didn't need stitches this time) and ask him ''How do you do it hyung?''.

Minseok never answered.

He just asked for the names and those trainees magically disappeared for a long, long time.

Minseok made sure of it.

 

The pair that Do Kyungsoo and Kim Minseok created was a force to be reckoned with. All silent glares and astounding efficiency. Everybody that was remotely part of the International Space Union knew who they were. The American team would always grumble about those ''damn Chinese'' and the Chinese would just grumble that ''no, they are Korean not Chinese'', as if it really mattered at this point. Nationalities were such an obsolete thing nowadays.

Those who didn't know them well, pretty much everybody, would always say that Kyungsoo was the brains and that Minseok was the brawn. And well, they weren't wrong, not completely. It's just that Kyungsoo was nothing short of a genius and had an incredible loathing for anything that would even remotely imply any type of physical activity, while Minseok was always in for a good game of soccer, even after the standard 5 hours of intensive gym training every trainee had to take part in. But, hey, Minseok had working brains too.

What made their team work so well was their bond. They were more than mere best friends, they were family. It always sounded cheesy to reserved and strict Kyungsoo but he never denied it and never would. Because, even if Kyungsoo hated emotions with a passion, something Minseok understood but couldn't quite embrace, being the affectionate person he is, he never denied it.

 

Everybody knew all about them and at the same time knew next to nothing.

 

There's a lot a personal file can say about you, but there's a lot more that will always stay confined to somebody's soul.

 

_ ''There's no soul, you dumb idiot,'' Kyungsoo would say in his bored voice, ''It's all neural connections, hyung, come on, how many times do I have to tell you,'' and Minseok would brush him off, as usual. _

 

Minseok's file was pretty long, something he was quite proud of, and it still didn't say anything about him as a person. His whole life was summarized in the first page.

As if a mere page could actually contain all that happened to him in 22 long years.

 

It couldn't.

 

His 5 years before becoming a trainee, his whole childhood, were summarized in a sentence.

 

_ ''Kim Minseok, born in Guri, Gyeonggi Province, ex-South Korea, Chinese precinct, on March 26, 1990, parents unknown, has been donated to the ISU on date April 11, 1995.'' _

 

Minseok was  _ donated _ when he was 5. Kyungsoo was only 2 at the time. The word  _ donated  _ had always irked Kyungsoo to no end, ''it makes us sound like some object,'' he'd say. Minseok would just shush him, after the Great Nuclear War, anything could get you killed, especially in the Chinese precinct, and Kyungsoo was too outspoken in his quietness.

Minseok's file didn't mention how he felt, when the big ISU mothership docked on the highest, still standing building of the Gyeonggi province, the last day of his childhood.

It didn't mention what he felt when a tiny, trembling hand grabbed his, two big eyes stared right into his, and heart shaped lips murmured a small ''hyung'', and suddenly Minseok had a brother.

It didn't mention the torture training represented. It didn't mention the sleepless nights or the fear of waking up after another nightmare where the memories of explosions still woke him up at night, because what if they were too close this time, what if this is it, this is the bomb that will kill them, and then in the blurriness of it all, realizing that, no, there's a treaty now.

There were no more bombs thrown their way. No more.

 

Or are there?

 

In the 17 years that followed his  _ donation _ all and nothing happened. He could have dropped out, he really could have. Many fellow trainees did it. Some managed to come back, sunken faces and ripped clothes and begged, oh how they begged to be taken back.

 

They never were.

 

Minseok couldn't leave. Most people would say it was because of Kyungsoo, which was partly true. The kid needed a stable environment, as stable a ISU training facility could be, but that wasn't it. Minseok needed to keep them together, needed to know what he was going against, because even if it didn't look like it, Kyungsoo had and always would be the most daring of the two. Minseok needed to know what he was going to go against even when the slightest problem arose.

''You're like a caged animal, you know? Even if they opened the cage you'd still stay inside, too scared of what's waiting for you outside.'' And Kyungsoo has never been more right.

 

Kyungsoo was always right.

 

When he said he could create artificial intelligence, nobody believed him, saying that he couldn't  _ give somebody a soul _ . Minseok thought that when they told him that Kyungsoo might have popped a blood vessel or two. After that, the kid didn't sleep for a few months and had to be hand-fed by Minseok while working, hunched over a working table provided by the academy, and after a few stress induced rants Baekhyun was born. Well, born, kind of. He was created. And he was probably one of Kyungsoo's biggest regrets. Because, damn, was the guy sassy. The AI was part of an intricate system of wires in the carbon skeleton built by Kyungsoo. He looked perfectly human from the outside, something Kyungsoo was extremely proud of. Something he wasn't proud of was the AI's personality. Baekhyun was all Kyungsoo and Minseok weren't: loud, bubbly, and ostentatious. And he loved, truly loved, to get on Kyungsoo's nerves, which was a source of endless entertainment for Minseok.

 

Something that took quite a while for Minseok to realize was how human Baekhyun actually was. Kyungsoo's theory about souls has always been quite hard for Minseok to understand. In Kyungsoo's opinion, there was no soul, no invisible shimmery substance that was part of the body, that made humans, well, human. The only thing that mattered to him were the brains, something he held an incredible fascination for.

Minseok had heard all of it, but never quite embraced the theory. Maybe because deep down, he still believed in the existence of some sort of God. Even if it was hard to believe in any type of God after the Great Nuclear War. Europe was completely uninhabitable after the nuclear attack from an extremist country and the trigger-happy answer of North Korea that sided with them.

Nothing was left besides ashes. Ashes and a ban on religion. Any type of it.

The war permanently scarred the planet: corrosive rain, contaminated water and air, genetic mutations... Everything was a mess and nobody would have survived a continuation of the war. Not when America was ready to drop the biggest atomic bomb ever created. And this was how the treaty was created. The planet was slowly dying. The planet IS slowly dying. Minseok knows. Everybody knows. Some hope in some form of divine intervention. Minseok silently hopes too.

 

''You're being stupid again, there's no God, hyung,'' Kyungsoo mumbled from his bunk bed right over Minseok.

''What are you then, my godly creator?'' yelled Baekhyun stumbling (as much as an android can stumble) through the door.

Kyungsoo sighed. Minseok chuckled.

Baekhyun's mechanical eyes zeroed with an inhuman precision on the black eye Kyungsoo was sporting, the lenses of his glasses cracked on both sides (something that had made him swear so much that he could have given a sailor a run for his money, because ''it's hard as fuck to find new lenses in this place damn'').

''Who did it.'' Baekhyun uttered, it didn't sound like a question and Kyungsoo didn't even bother to answer.

Baekhyun's gaze shifted from Kyungsoo's face and turned to Minseok who just nodded, which in the years had become a signal between the two that meant that he took care of it.

Baekhyun's shoulders were still tense and after a short flicker in his blue eyes he yelled, because Baekhyun can't just talk like a normal person, ''Always told you that black wasn't your color, my godly, owl-eyed creator!'' To which both Minseok and Kyungsoo groaned in unison, because he's so damn loud and it's way too late for this.

 

''You are okay, right?'' Baekhyun tentatively asked after Kyungsoo unlocked his speech option the morning after. Kyungsoo just brushed him off and exited their shared room.

Minseok felt, more than saw, Baekhyun's shoulders sagging and the quiet sigh he emitted shortly after.

''For having such big eyes, he sure is blind isn't he?'' Baekhyun muttered hopelessly, and then, as electrocuted all sadness vanished from Baekhyun face as Kyungsoo's voice floated through the corridor, ''You comin' or not you ugly creature?''

''YESSIR!'' Baekhyun yelled and ran to follow his creator. Minseok could hear them bicker shortly after.

Kyungsoo was smart and yet so stupid. Even if he was the one that created Baekhyun, he couldn't really see how human the AI was, how his gaze lingered and how all his wires (can't say heart, he never had and will never have one) buzzed in anticipation every time the other was near. Baekhyun loved his creator with his whole being and cared for him more than for himself, and yet, even if Kyungsoo paid attention to his creation to a fault, he never saw Baekhyun as more than an AI, a friend at most.

Minseok did.

Baekhyun was right. Kyungsoo did have big eyes but didn't see. Not enough.

 

The news of the earth dying wasn't anything new. Kyungsoo had foreseen it when he was 15. Nobody believed him but Minseok.

Now, 4 years later, everybody was bowing their heads and asking for help in front of Kyungsoo's terrified face because: ''Way. Too. Many. People. Hyung. Help.'' To which Minseok tried to intervene. Kyungsoo's eyes bulged out in an almost comedic fashion when Minseok was immobilized to the ground as he was some type of threat and dragged out of the room. Kyungsoo tried to follow but was stopped by a gun pointed to his head. And that's when hell broke loose.

There are 3 rules people in the Chinese precinct training center always follow when trying to threaten Do Kyungsoo:

1)Never try to outsmart him. You can't.

2) Never try to threaten him in front of Kim Minseok or you might have more than a few broken bones and a percussion at the end of a really unpleasant talk with the aforementioned.

3) And most of all never, ever try to even breathe harshly in his general direction if Baekhyun is there.

And pointing a gun at his head surely wasn't a smart move. Most of the people in the room didn't even  _ see _ Baekhyun moving. In the blink of an eye, the gun safely landed on the other side of the room in Minseok's hands and pointed at anybody that could harm Kyungsoo, Baekhyun positioned protectively in front of him a foot on the guard that  _ dared  _ to threaten the younger. Baekhyun raised his finely sculpted hand (he does have beautiful hands and he knows it, a reason to love Kyungsoo even more) and checked his nails with utmost attention.

''Now, now gentlemen we wouldn't want things to get ugly here right? I really wouldn't want to ruin my manicure.''

''Let's go Kyungsoo,'' Minseok didn't turn (rule number one when you are outnumbered: never turn your back to the enemy)  and patiently waited for Baekhyun and Kyungsoo to go through the door before slowly closing it behind himself.

The scene that presented in front of him was quite unexpected. Baekhyun was tightly hugging a trembling Kyungsoo, a ferocious glint in his eyes.

And Minseok, in that moment, knew, that even if Kyungsoo wasn't able to see the deep affection in Baekhyun's eyes, the AI understood and wouldn't want it in any other way.

They both knew, Baekhyun and Minseok, that what they did would have severe repercussions on their life.

They didn't care and they would take the punishment in stride.

Or at least they thought they wouldn't care.

 

Nothing prepared them for their separation.

 

Minseok and Kyungsoo, from their donation on, had always been together, nothing, not even the age divisions in the facility managed to separate them. There has been a time when Kyungsoo wasn't able to room with Minseok and Minseok had to share his sleeping compartment with somebody else, a trainee, Luhan.

 

Minseok doesn't talk about Luhan.

 

Not even with Kyungsoo, and Minseok talks about everything with Kyungsoo.

 

Minseok saw it coming, the day of their separation, and Kyungsoo did too. But that didn't mean they were ready for all the implications that their division meant. For starters Baekhyun was deactivated. Permanently. He apparently was too much of a threat to humanity (''or those assholes prides'' said Kyungsoo in a bout of anger). The deactivation of the AI was a heavy blow on its creator, who didn't talk for about a month and barely ate. Minseok and Kyungsoo were separated until further notice from the ISU, which meant pretty much forever or at least until the funeral of one of them. Minseok would take forever anytime.

The ISU reaction to what happened didn't go unnoticed. Everybody knew that the almost mythical duo was no more. And they talked. And talked. Almost as much as after Luhan.

 

Minseok didn’t want to talk about it. Not about Kyungsoo. Not about Baekhyun. Even less about Luhan.

 

So Minseok trained, day and night, with some rare breaks for sleep and food. He was unstoppable, they'd probably have to sedate him to stop him now, when there's nothing he cares for left.

 

Minseok misses Kyungsoo. He misses even Baekhyun. It's simple as that and he can't understand why would all those politicians be so offended by him defending his family. Was the situation that bad that they needed Kyungsoo's attention on only that problem? Minseok really had no answer so he just continued running, punching, kicking, until everything turned black and darkness surrounded him.

 

Finally.

 

Three whole months passed until Minseok got to see Kyungsoo again. He looked thinner, his big eyes complemented by big, dark eye bags. He looked like a doll. His big eyes screamed innocence and stolen childhood dreams. His shoulders were hunched and Minseok, for the first time, saw how much younger Kyungsoo really was. He stepped a little bit closer but was stopped by the guard that led him to his family, his little brother, that now looked like his porcelain skin was about to shatter. Baekhyun was in the far corner of the room, incredibly active, and looked ready to catch Kyungsoo anytime, because like Minseok, he knew. Knew that anytime now Kyungsoo would shatter and thousands of fragments would fall on the floor of the too white, too clean room they were standing in and even if there was no furniture, nothing at all, they would get lost, stepped on, forgotten.

 

Kyungsoo didn't shatter.

 

He held his chin up like Minseok usually did. His back straight. His eyes dead.

He delivered the news like  _ he _ was the android, the robot, and not Baekhyun. His shoulders didn't bend like earlier, not even when Minseok understood how big the weight Kyungsoo was carrying was. His voice didn't crack when he told them how another nuclear war was about to begin, or when he said that the globe could not support any added strain as it was already dying, or that the government decided to ask for help to the Untouchables on Mars, those who managed to escape before any war even started. There was no trembling in his tone when he told Minseok that he and Baekhyun were chosen, with another member of the ISU Chinese training facility, to transport on the biggest spaceship built by man 5000 children and almost as many animal species in cryogenic sleep to Mars.

Minseok gulped. Baekhyun's fan whirred. And Kyungsoo was gone. Just like that.

For the first time in Minseok's life, Kyungsoo, in all his fragility didn't look small. He didn't look small at all. Did Kyungsoo feel small? Because Minseok, for the first time in his life, almost did.

 

Kim Minseok never felt small.

 

They, Minseok and Baekhyun, didn't get to see Kyungsoo until their departure.

The preparations for their mission were a huge blur in Minseok's mind. Something that was pretty strange was that Minseok didn't get to see the other pilot that was supposed to fly with him and Baekhyun. In all the blurriness that preceded their mission the day of their departure is crystal clear. So clear it could look surreal. He woke up, Baekhyun nowhere to be found, got ready and slowly walked to the docks.

 

Kyungsoo was there too.

 

They didn't talk. Didn't hug. Just silently stared at each other for ten long seconds as trying to remember the position of each freckle, each eyelash on each others faces as they didn't already know it by heart. Kyungsoo exhaled quietly and their staring stopped.

Minseok boarded the ship short after.

He didn't turn back.

He didn't see Kyungsoo's lips tremble in an unspoken ''sorry''.

He didn't see how Kyungsoo's form fell to the ground, pale fingers trying to grab his retreating form for a last hug, a last affectionate pat on the head.

He didn't see Kyungsoo finally shatter on the ground. Tiny fragments of all he was on the floor ready to be blown away by the strong winds of the propulsors of the ship.

 

He didn't see, and Kyungsoo didn't want him to. Or did he?

 

Minseok didn't turn back.

 

The departure was eerily quiet. Or at least it was to Minseok. After he left Kyungsoo behind any sound completely disappeared. He didn't think when he arrived on the starboard, or when he unlocked the captain's chair and sat on it. He didn't hear hundreds of beeping noises from all around him. He didn't think when he unlocked the main console and led the ship through the atmosphere and higher, higher, higher. He didn't hear Baekhyun greet the man that'd accompany them through this mission. He didn't even turn to acknowledge him when he sat at his left to help with stabilizing the ship. Minseok's hands were only working thanks to muscle memory. His gaze straight ahead seeing but at the same time not seeing. The earth was slowly becoming smaller, they passed the Moon after a minute or two. They could see the 6 inches thick tempered glass domes of the International Government on the Moon. Small figures shuffling from one place to the other. The Moon was where who wasn’t an Untouchable but still held some power, or money, took refuge after the Great Nuclear War. That was where all the laws that affected Minseok’s and Kyungsoo’s life, since their stolen childhood, came from. A place where people didn’t care for anything else than profit and power. That lusted for it. The Moon flew past them in a few seconds and then they were in open space. Minseok shoulders relaxed slightly as the ship went on to autopilot mode and he was about to turn when the Moon lit up like a little sun. The explosion was eerily quiet as they couldn’t hear anything in the ship. They couldn’t hear the screams of people burning. They couldn’t see how people vanished into ashes in few seconds. Minseok was thinking about Kyungsoo. Maybe he was safe. Maybe he knew it was going to happen. Maybe he… The Earth lit up in a blindingly white light. The ship trembled for a few seconds before the main stabilizers activated. Minseok didn’t move. Didn’t dare to breathe as he silently watched his whole life, his family, disappear in white light. And how suddenly the light appeared it disappeared, and nothing but ashes were left. Minseok heard a shuddering breath behind him. Baekhyun. 

 

The Earth was no more.

People think that when a person suffers the first thing they do is cry. 

Kim Minseok didn’t cry. 

Didn’t even move. Just blankly stared in front of himself, where Kyungsoo should be, when he has always been, and let the numbness invade him. 

Kim Minseok didn’t cry when his best friend, his family, died.

While looking at what once he considered home with a hole in his chest Minseok didn’t even flinch.

 

Kim Minseok felt empty.

Kim Minseok felt small.

  
  


Kyungsoo was only 19.

 

A message reached the main dashboard on the ship. Baekhyun hastily opened it. A message from Kyungsoo. There was nothing written. Just a simple mp3 file. A last message?

Music started playing.

 

_ Don’t cry over me _

_ Don’t cry over me _

_ Don’t cry over me _

_ I know it’s a dark cave and even though it’s far from heaven _

_ Maybe this could be my haven _

 

The music started slowly reaching Minseok ears. Baekhyun gasped in the background. 

Kyungsoo  _ loved _ music. Kyungsoo, if born in a different era, could have been a singer. His voice smooth and soulful. Minseok could sing too, but preferred not too after Luhan. He stopped doing a lot of things after Luhan.

Music was banned soon after the Great Nuclear War for no apparent reason so Kyungsoo had to hack into old library systems to find some music to listen to. 

Minseok didn't listen to music after Luhan's  _ departure _ . Too many memories. And while Kyungsoo tried to make him sing, Minseok would stay tight lipped and wouldn't utter a word. 

So this last message was pure cruelty on Kyungsoo's side as it was his and Kyungsoo's first song.

 

_ I know it hurts you when I fucking shiver _

_ Well, trust me I was such a strong believer _

_ But what's the point of searching for that halo _

_ My eyes are blinded and my heart is shallow _

 

_ It's getting worse and worse as I think deeper  _

_ It's just like staring at a burning river _

_ Well, now it's time to stop. Just pull the trigger _

_ I want to end it all. I wanted over _

 

Kyungsoo voice quickly followed the last notes of the song's instruments, his voice cracking a little.

 

''Don't cry over me.

Hyung.''

 

Kyungsoo’s voice never cracked.

 

_ ''Hyung, doesn't it sound sad?'' _

_ ''It does, Soo, it does'' _

_ ''Don't you think it's cruel to leave the ones you love like this?'' _

_ ''If you love them you would never willingly leave them, right kid?'' _

_ ''You are right hyung. You are right.'' _

 

''And Baekhyun... I love you too.''

 

Do Kyungsoo always knew everything.

Do Kyungsoo was never blind.

Do Kyungsoo was always right.

Do Kyungsoo was no more.

  
  
  
  



	2. Broken

Kim Minseok met Luhan when he was 18. He was told he couldn't room with 15 year old Kyungsoo for at least a few more years, as the training facility didn't permit huge age gaps between roommates. So Kim Minseok ended up rooming with Luhan, the guy apparently didn't have a surname or something, and Minseok never really cared for stuff like that anyways. Luhan was really different from reserved and quiet Minseok and at the same time so similar. They spent their first three months as roommates without exchanging anything more than awkward _hey_ s and _how are you_ s. Minseok didn't want to talk and Luhan didn't try to make him do it. It worked well enough for both of them, at least until Kyungsoo appeared at his door one night, big eyes wide and a bleeding cut on his cheek, sad gaze begging for comfort. And Minseok was not one to deny the younger anything. Hoping that Luhan would stay asleep he brought the younger in the room and went in the bathroom to find a first aid kit. When he came back to the room he found Luhan putting his jacket on and about to exit the room: ''I'll take care of them, don't worry.'' And like that he was gone.

From that day on Kim Minseok and Luhan became friends.

 

Love was such a luxury in the world Minseok and Luhan lived in. There was no time for it. Some people didn’t even dare to think they could find love.

It wasn’t like the songs Kyungsoo listened to depicted, and at the same time it was. Minseok didn’t plan it, but, when he started falling  he didn’t push the feeling away.

  


He didn’t stop Luhan’s fingers from brushing away his fringe after a workout session at 3 in the morning, both of them too tired and yet too awake to sleep. He didn’t push Luhan away when he tentatively brushed his lips against Minseok’s. He didn’t complain when the kiss deepened. He wanted more. More of those lips. More of that soft skin. More of that person. The person he grew to care for so dearly in the passing weeks. He wanted more of Luhan. He wanted more, more, more. And he took it.

 

Kim Minseok had always been greedy.

 

It became their secret. Of stolen kisses, secretive brushes of skin and caring gazes.

People knew and at the same time knew next to nothing.

One night, lying awake on his bed, Luhan’s breath tickling his neck softly, arm securely wrapped around his torso, Minseok didn’t feel lost, didn’t feel alone.

And then the Day came.

Minseok wasn’t stupid. He heard Kyungsoo sing countless songs about broken hearts. He knew that there was a possibility, even if quite remote, of him and Luhan not working out. They had been together for almost a year. They incredibly had very little arguments, almost close to none. Something he was proud of. Minseok knew he and Luhan could have broken up. What he wasn’t ready for were the clean sheets on Luhan’s bed. The empty drawers in the wardrobe. The small white card on his pillow that still smelled like Luhan.

Minseok’s pillow always smelled like Luhan.

Kyungsoo found him like that. Stock still, fingers lightly brushing the white card on his pillow saying that Luhan’s like had been _terminated, as the subject had betrayed the ISU policies_. Terminated.

Minseok didn’t go to Luhan’s funeral.

Minseok didn’t cry.

He tried not to think about Luhan anymore. How could he when Luhan meant so much to him.

People talked.

Minseok didn’t.

Kim Minseok didn’t talk about Luhan.

 

‘‘Seok, Seok, I know it hurts but please, why don’t you go lay down for a second, hm?’’ Minseok might have been in a state of shock because of his best friend’s death but nothing, nothing, not even if he was in a coma, could have stopped him from recognizing his dead lover’s voice. A voice he thought he’d never hear again. A voice he dreamed of hearing again and at the same time dreaded. Luhan loved to sing. His voice so different from Kyungsoo’s and yet when he sang Minseok could just listen. Luhan was born to sing. His death just ruined music for Minseok. He just couldn’t listen to songs him and Luhan would listen to at night, sheets crumpled at the end of the bed, skin sweaty, fingers interlaced. He just couldn’t.

Minseok slowly turned his gaze left. And there he was. Luhan.

Minseok thought a lot about what he’d do if he saw Luhan again. He thought about kissing him. Crying. Hugging him. Punching him. Asking for an explanation. He thought and thought.

Deer-like eyes widened in concern: ‘‘Min?’’

Minseok stood up and left the room.

  


_‘‘And Baekhyun… I love you too.’’_

Baekhyun stood. Not moving. Mechanical blue eyes focused on nothing and everything. His artificial brains trying to understand.

For the first time Baekhyun hated being created. Hated being what he actually was. He’d rather be a stupid robot. He’d suffer less. For the first time in his life he loathes his creator with all his body, mind and soul, even if souls don’t exist, he doesn’t care at the moment. He would have rather not known. Would have rather not heard. Would have rather not understood.

Because it hurt. It really hurt.

Baekhyun didn’t want to hurt. Not anymore.

 

_In this big world_

_The very small me is here_

_Holding onto the broken pieces of my heart_

_I try to endure but_

_What do you want me to do?_

_What more can I do now?_

 

Baekhyun’s eyes focus on Minseok’s retreating figure, the other man, the one they’d be sharing the mission with, standing there, stock still, gaze trained on Minseok’s figure. His mind provides him with a short footage of what happened while he was deep in his thoughts. Minseok knew that man.

‘’Who are you?’’ Baekhyun asked.

Two hazel colored eyes turned towards the AI, as if they didn’t even notice its presence. They probably didn’t.

‘’Luhan.’’

Baekhyun’s mind blanked as he tried to recall any information he knew about the so called Luhan.

 

_‘’Why aren’t you coming with us Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asked, thin, soft fingers grabbing his creator’s wrist. “We both know you organized this mission, you could as well have put yourself in the team. Why did you decide on this… This… Luhan? He’s not even part of the facility. He’s just some guy who’s been locked up in a facility for years!”_

_Kyungsoo just softly smiled, and looked at Baekhyun as he was the one not making any sense. Baekhyun wanted to yell, scream at the man that he loved but couldn’t. He just couldn’t._

_“One day you’ll understand why I am doing this Baek,” short, elegant fingers brushed Baekhyun’s cheek, “Minseok always took care of me, now it’s my turn to do so.”_

_Kyungsoo was right, Baekhyun didn’t understand._

_“But Soo, what about me?”_

_“You’ll be alright Baek, I’ll always take care of you, you’ll be alright.” And just like that Kyungsoo was gone._

 

Baekhyun wasn’t alright. He probably wasn’t going to be. Not when he could remember the exact texture of Kyungsoo’s fingers. Not when he could remember how Kyungsoo’s heart used to beat when he was excited or how his eyes had that gentle look on them when scolding Baekhyun if he got hurt. And he couldn’t forget. Baekhyun only wanted to forget.

 

_In the very small me_

_There is such a big scar_

_I’m holding onto the ripped apart hope_

_As I try to endure but_

_What do you want me to do?_

_What more can I do now?_

 

“Well, Luhan, I hope you are worth it. Because I won’t forgive you if you aren’t and neither would he. ”

Baekhyun exited the room looking for Minseok. He didn’t hear Luhan answer him as he turned as what was once Earth. He didn’t hear the pained whisper the man emitted. And maybe it was better this way.

“I wouldn’t forgive myself either.”

  


Minseok was pretty good at avoiding his own problems, not as good as Kyungsoo (Kyungsoo brought pretty much anything to a whole different level), but he was still pretty decent at it. He avoided talking, and even thinking about Luhan, for almost a year and a half, and wasn’t about to start doing it now. Not even if the main character of all his dreams and nightmares, mostly nightmares, came back from the dead. Minseok didn’t care.

Or did he?

So Minseok did the only thing a scared person would do. He avoided the problem as much as possible. Kyungsoo would have probably managed to talk him out of doing it, he usually was the one to see past the façade Minseok would put on and see just how _terrified_ Minseok was. Terrified of giving himself up again, of daring to fall, of daring to love again. But Kyungsoo wasn’t there.

 

Avoiding Luhan wasn’t easy, and at the same time it was. Their shifts were pretty far apart from each other and usually if Luhan was on the starboard Minseok was either sleeping or pretending to be asleep. Even in the _remote_ possibility when they both were on duty in the same space Minseok didn’t even turn to look at Luhan. Or tried not to. After a few attempted and failed conversations Luhan gave up on talking to him. And even though Minseok was glad he did, a tiny part of him hoped Luhan wouldn’t give up on him as easily as he did. Because even if Minseok would have been as good as Kyungsoo at avoiding problems he couldn’t avoid the fact that Luhan still wore the same perfume as he did once. He couldn’t avoid noticing that when smiling Luhan’s eyes still crinkled on the sides, or the fact that when he saw Luhan’s shoulders slump his hand would always try to reach for him. But Minseok couldn’t give up. He just couldn’t.

But Luhan smelled so good. Smelled like comfort.

Smelled like home.

 

‘’You are getting on my nerves.’’

Minseok looked up from his tablet as Baekhyun stood a few meters from him, hands on his hips, blueish eye bags under his tired eyes, Minseok had never seen him as disheveled as he did now. Baekhyun loved to look good at all times.

Minseok raised an eyebrow and got ready for the yelling that would surely ensue. He was talking to Baekhyun, the guy couldn’t talk normally for the life of his (which wasn’t a programming problem, Kyungsoo checked… Multiple times). But Baekhyun was a man, well an android, full of surprises as he quietly said: ‘’You are so stupid, you know? He misses you as much as you miss him. What are you going to do? Ignore him forever? How old are you? I really don’t understand…’’

Minseok had enough.

‘’ You don’t understand and you never will. He was dead, I was invited to his funeral, okay? You have no clue of how much it hurt. The person I loved died, or at least I thought he died. He was probably around fucking the other trainees laughing behind my back. Who cares. I don’t. Not anymore.’’

Baekhyun eyes hardened and even if he wasn’t any taller than Minseok he looked like he could tower over Minseok any second now.

‘’I do understand. Perfectly actually. The person I love _is_ dead. And he could be on this ship, right now, but he isn’t because ‘Oh no, Baek, he always protected me so it’s my time make him happy like he deserves’. But no! The person you thought was dead is right here, on this fucking ship and all you can do is brood over the past. But I can’t understand! You are right. I really can’t.’’

Baekhyun angrily turned and started storming out of the room when a quiet whisper reached him.

‘’Kyungsoo knew?’’

The android turned slowly towards the other male.

‘’Kyungsoo always knew everything.’’

Baekhyun left the room and Minseok was left alone.

Again.

 

Even after what Baekhyun told him Minseok didn’t talk to Luhan. Or at least he tried to. Having to decide on the best route and method to get the ship in the most efficient way possible to its destination needed planning. With Luhan.

He rarely spoke. Never met the other in the eyes and, as soon as the meeting was over, he fled.

But after another useless meeting Luhan had enough.

“Minseok. Please wait.”

And Minseok stopped. His mind screaming at him to go. To leave. Go far away from the person that managed to break him. Shatter everything they had. The person that died. Or Minseok thought he did. But wasn’t it the same thing. Luhan should be dead for him. Because even if Luhan’s heart didn’t stop beating on that day, Minseok’s did.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me. And I’m not asking you to. Just listen. I want you to understand.”

Minseok didn’t move.

“I would really want to tell you some incredible story about me being some senator’s son that run from home to serve his country, fell in love with you, but then his father found him and made him come back home. But it wouldn’t be true. I wish it was, i really do. The truth is that all I told you when we were together was true. My mom really did sell me to the ISU, but not because we were poor. I had been hit by radiation. I am a telekinesis user.”

At this Minseok eyes widened but he didn’t move.

“When they found out they brought me a lab and well…” Luhan’s breathing hitched. “They tortured me for months, Minseok. And then Kyungsoo came…”

Minseok’s body tensed.

“Don’t you dare bring my brother into this, Luhan.” He seethed. “ He would have told me if he knew. He would have.”

“I begged him not to. He tried to get me out on multiple occasions but nothing ever worked.”

Minseok couldn’t take it anymore.

“Show me. Show me what they did to you Luhan.”

Luhan’s lips trembled. And even if Minseok took pride in his self control he couldn’t stop himself. He finally looked at Luhan. Really looked at him. His red rimmed eyes. Dark eye bags that could rival his. Sunken cheeks. And then Luhan turned his back to him and slipped his shirt off.

Time froze. Minseok’s body moved of his own accord. His short fingers brushed against the rough scarring tissue on his lovers back. Red angry lines marring a back that was once beautiful and pure. Staining a canvas that only Minseok should have been able to stain. A canvas where only Minseok was allowed to leave blossoming bruises of love.

And while usually Luhan took Minseok’s breath away, this time Minseok completely stopped breathing. He tried to get oxygen in his system but he just couldn’t. All he could see was red. Red angry gashes on his beautiful lover. On the man he loved. On the man that never intended to break his heart. On the man that right now stood in front of him desperately calling his name and telling him to breathe. But breathing wasn’t important.

And while a sea of red started surrounding him and his vision started becoming more and more blurry, he only focused on Luhan’s eyes.

Light hazel oceans of emotion.

He still loved this man.

Minseok fainted.

 

Long thin fingers interlaced with his. Warmth seeping through his light protective suit. Strong lean arms surrounding him. A chin on his shoulder. Soft murmurs in a language he didn’t hear in almost two years. And silence. That type of silence that is not uncomfortable. Just shared quietness and silent stares full of meaning. The sky in front of them.

Minseok had always been bad at astrogeography, the only subject he ever had real problems with. He never was interest in the oxygen levels of inhabitable planets, stars, meteoroids… Luhan loved it.

Quiet murmurs of the stars names reach Minseok’s as a silent lullaby. Long complex denominations to describe simple self-luminous gaseous spheres never sounded so interesting.

Luhan and Minseok didn’t talk after that day. Not about their past. Baekhyun barged in the room yelling “I just told you to talk to him not try to kill him on the spot. Oh my God we are going to die. Oh my God.” and kept chanting it until Minseok resurfaced from unconsciousness.

After that he just looked at Luhan and smiled.

That was enough for them.

Enough for Luhan to understand that Minseok was there for him.

That everything that happened before was dealt with.

That the fact that Luhan could move things without touching was just a ‘really cool bar trick boi’ as Baekhyun had exclaimed.

And as the stars with their long murmured names flew past them, they lied there. Hands interlocked. Eyes staring straight forward. Hearts content.

They didn’t kiss.

They didn’t need to.

 

They didn't talk much the morning after. Or the one following it. Their affection visible in every touch, stare, brush of lips. 

One evening Baekhyun walked in on Minseok cooking dinner one day. Hands swiftly cutting vegetables. Luhan walked in. He shuffled closer to the other male, gently back hugging him. Minseok grumbled something like “you are such a leech Lu... Deer my ass.” To which Luhan just hummed contentedly as he hid his head in the crook of Minseok’s neck. And even though Minseok didn’t acknowledge the other male anymore after that he leaned a little into the embrace. 

Luhan started humming softly, long fingers brushing Minseok’s sides lightly. 

“I love you, like a lot. I missed you.”

Minseok turned slowly in Luhan’s embrace. Knife still in hand. 

“If you don’t leave the kitchen in this instant I  _ will  _ stab you.”

Luhan dramatically gasped clutching his chest.

“You  _ hurt _ me, Kim Minseok.You said I was the love of your life...”

Minseok raised an eyebrow.

“First of all I  _ never _ said you were the love of my life. And even if I did, if you don’t leave the kitchen right now…”

Luhan just laughed, kissed Minseok’s cheek and skipped away yelling “You love me.”

 

Luhan was long gone when Baekhyun saw Minseok touch the cheek Luhan kissed and heard him murmur “I missed you too, you dumb idiot.”

 

Feeling like he was assisting to something extremely private he silently left.

 

They reached Mars in exactly 161 days. They quietly maneuvered the ship to dock at the Untouchable’s main dock. And waited.

They were escorted by a really chatty cat eyed AI with a really _interesting_ sense of fashion. He almost dragged them to the main hall of the Untouchable government’s building. Four figures walked towards them, looking majestic. The light of an artificial sundown behind them. They seemed untouchable.

Minseok would probably feel small now, but he didn’t. Luhan’s fingers lightly brushing his in some sort of comfort. Their escort’s eyes flickered at the action but he didn’t comment on it.

The spell was broken by a yelp and all the eyes in the room snapped to the fallen figure in front of them.

The cat eyed man obnoxiously laughed. Minseok could see one of the figures huffing and the other murmuring a really disappointed “Jinki, we tried this entrance at least 35 times today and you _tripped_?”

With a grunt the figure stood up and finally there they stood. The Untouchables. The mythical figures (That in Minseok’s honest opinion, right now, looked more like a disheveled kpop group after a particularly hard dance routine.)

The ones that held Earth’s future in their hands.

Minseok’s future in their hands.

 

They didn’t talk much. They gave Minseok, Luhan and Baekhyun a room. Told them to stay put and started unloading the mothership.

Their days passed slowly. Uneventfully.

 

Minseok silently roamed in the mansion’s corridors. Steps perfectly timed. Surrounded in art and gold. He had anything he could ever want. But Minseok was greedy, oh so greedy, and wanted more. He got his lover back from the dead and still wasn’t happy, wasn’t satisfied.

He always wanted more.

He wanted Baekhyun to smile. Smile like he used too. To smile in the way that was reserved only for Kyungsoo to see. Where only the corners of his mouth tipped slightly upwards. A simple crook of his lips, where his eyes lit up in unspoken affection.  A smile that Minseok was sure he wasn’t going to see anymore.

He wanted the hole in his chest to be filled completely, not halfway. He just couldn’t bear the emptiness. What did he do to deserve to hurt so much. Why did the universe want to bend him to his will and make him crumble on the floor of this same golden corridor he was walking in. Why did he feel like he was going to shatter all the time?

Minseok knew life wasn’t fair. It never had been it never will be. And yet there he was. Alone and not at the same time.

Aren’t we always alone?

Sure people always try to surround themselves with people to try to fight off the terror of being alone. A fear that is so rooted in the human being’s psyche that’s like a natural impulse. A need.

And still Minseok is still alone. Alone in his head. Alone with himself and his thoughts.

Alone and empty.

Ready to shatter at any time. And maybe he would be happy to lose himself. Lose himself in the nothingness that seems to surround him like a menacing invisible black hole. Ready to swallow him. But the universe is cruel, loves to play with its inhabitants as they are dolls. Likes to see them hurt, on their knees, begging, give up.

 

Kim Minseok doesn’t give up. Never will.

Kim Minseok still feels empty.

On that night they made love. Well angled thrusts and quiet whispers of love. They took their time. They didn’t hurry. They had nowhere to go, nothing else to reach other than themselves. To make the distance between their two beings smaller and smaller until there will be no distance anymore. Until they’ll be so close they could almost feel each other’s thoughts. Each other’s feelings. And Minseok doesn’t care if the universe is cruel when Luhan grinds against him and all he can think of is _more, more, more_ . He doesn’t care he will probably die alone, like everyone does. He doesn’t, because Luhan will be there. Has always been there. Luhan will never leave. And _oh, he’s close_.

Luhan loves to give Minseok everything.

And Minseok takes it all.

Until there’s nothing left. Until there’s nothing left of Minseok. Nothing left of Luhan.

They are just two tiny specks of dust in this unforgiving universe and yet Minseok doesn’t care.

He is alone. He will always be. Lost in himself. Drowning in an ocean of loneliness. The universe has already taken everything away from him. Mercilessly. He won’t let it take Luhan too. Not again.

Not ever.

Luhan and Minseok lose themselves in each other that night. Drown in each other’s eyes, in every breath they take.

 

Kim Minseok drowns.

 

Kim Minseok is alone.

 

Kim Minseok is lonely.

  


Minseok finds Luhan and doesn’t let go. He never will.


	3. Epilogue

Kyungsoo hastily typed the last strings of code in his computer and hoped. Hoped his plan would work out. 

 

It did.

 

He woke up in a crisply white room. A pair of inquisitive cat eyes peering down on him. There were no questions asked but Kyungsoo knew he needed to explain.

 

And explain he did. He told the Untouchables how he managed to enter one of the cryogenic sleep chambers just in time. How he sneakily prepared himself for months to be able to stay with his family. 

 

He expected them to be unforgiving. To laugh at him.

 

All he got was a pat on the head and a lowly muttered ‘smart’ and he was free to go.

  
  


He found Minseok walking in one of the gardens. Luhan sitting not too far away. Gaze fixed on his lover.

 

Kyungsoo always found the two lovers’ dynamics mesmerising. How they tended to gravitate towards each other at all times. How, even without talking, they could understand the other. How deeply they complemented each other. 

 

Luhan saw him first. Thin lips parted. Eyes widened. And then as fast as it came the surprise vanished. Luhan’s head gently bowed in acknowledgment. 

 

Kyungsoo didn’t need anything else.

 

He turned towards Minseok. The man was staring at the sky. Huge reddish clouds of dust whirling over their heads, over the glass domes. 

The scene reminded Kyungsoo of the first time he saw Minseok.

It’s a blurry memory. He just remembers how Minseok’s small shoulders didn’t curl into themselves when the big mothership landed in front of them. How he stood stock still waiting for his fate. Not showing any fear. And Kyungsoo chose in that moment  _ he _ was going to be the one. The one Kyungsoo would fight for.

 

So Kyungsoo grabbed his hand and it all began.

 

Kyungsoo grabbed Minseok’s hand. His fingers slightly trembling. Minseok didn’t even flinch. He just turned his head slowly. Eyes wide in disbelief. Two big eyes stared right into his and heart shaped lips murmured:

“Hyung.”

 

Baekhyun did scream when he saw Kyungsoo again and then proceeded to climb on his back like a koala proclaiming he was not going to let go. Kyungsoo just lovingly patted the idiot on the head, while Minseok leaned on Luhan’s chest, fingers tightly interlaced.

Minseok looked up at the sky. Full of stars and planets. Mars’ wind tirelessly making particles of dust dance in a terrifying and yet majestic manner. 

 

Kim Minseok felt peaceful.

 

The universe had been merciful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank anybody that actually finished this fic. Which is pretty much a bunch of word vomit. I want to thank M for listening me rant about my Xiuhan feels and reading the fic and also the prompter for this awesome prompt. I am truly sorry if my grammar or wording were wrong our sounded weird but english is not my first language (sadly). I would have written more of this universe if I had time but school is literally KILLING ME.  
> Thank you again i hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Ps. The titles of the first two parts of the fic are songs by Nell if anyone was wondering


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